Korean Politeness for Beginners: 해요체, 합니다체, and -시-

Korean can suddenly feel difficult when a new person is standing in front of you. The problem is often not grammar. It is choosing a voice that fits the relationship.

Keep one rule first:

With someone you have just met, -아요/어요 is the safest place to start.

Use 해요체 in ordinary life

You can say this to a new coworker or neighbour:

안녕하세요. 저는 폴이에요.
어디 살아요?
한국 음식 좋아해요?

Speech ending in -아요/어요 is called 해요체. It is polite without sounding ceremonial. It works with most people you meet in a café, shop, class, hobby group, or ordinary workplace conversation.

Even if the other person looks younger, do not jump straight to 어디 살아? Age does not create closeness by itself. Starting in 해요체 avoids the larger mistake.

Use 합니다체 when the room is formal

An interview or presentation asks for a firmer voice:

안녕하십니까.
저는 미국에서 온 폴입니다.
한국어를 2년 동안 공부했습니다.

Speech ending in -습니다/ㅂ니다 is 합니다체. It is more formal than 해요체. You hear it in interviews, presentations, news reports, the military, and official announcements.

That does not make it automatically more respectful everywhere. 오늘 날씨가 좋습니다 is grammatical over coffee with a friend, but it sounds like a report. 오늘 날씨가 좋아요 belongs more easily at the table.

Situation	Safe voice	Example
Person you just met	해요체	만나서 반가워요.
Shop or restaurant	해요체	이거 얼마예요?
Interview or presentation	합니다체	저는 학생입니다.
Official announcement	합니다체	지금 출발합니다.
Close friend	반말	오늘 뭐 해?

-시- raises the subject, not the listener

해요체 and 합니다체 are endings chosen for the person listening. -(으)시- does a different job: it raises the person doing the action, the subject of the sentence.

선생님께서 지금 오세요.
할머니가 집에 계세요.
아버지는 아침을 드셨어요.

Inside 오세요 is 오 + 시 + 어요. The teacher is the person being raised, so the sentence contains -시-.

You normally do not attach it to your own action:

저는 지금 가요. ✓
저는 지금 가세요. ✗

가세요 can ask the listener to go, or describe a respected person going. It does not politely raise the speaker’s own action.

Common verbs that change

Some high-frequency verbs use a special honorific word instead of simply adding -시-.

Basic verb	Honorific verb	Example
먹다	드시다	할머니가 먼저 드세요.
자다	주무시다	아버지는 벌써 주무세요.
있다	계시다	선생님은 교실에 계세요.
말하다	말씀하시다	천천히 말씀해 주세요.

You do not need the entire honorific system at once. Learn 드시다, 주무시다, 계시다, 말씀하시다 with their scenes first.

Switch to 반말 after both people agree

As two people become closer, you may hear:

우리 말 편하게 할까요?
네, 좋아요. 말 놓으세요.

After that, lines such as 오늘 뭐 해? and 밥 먹었어? can feel natural. It is better to confirm the change than for one person to suddenly lower the speech level.

Dramas often use an abrupt speech-level switch to show a fight or sudden intimacy. Real relationships usually move more slowly, and their language often does too.

You usually do not need 당신 for “you”

English may tempt you to build this sentence:

당신은 어디 살아요?

It is grammatical, but 당신 can sound unnatural or confrontational with a new person. Korean regularly drops a subject that is obvious from the situation.

어디 살아요?
커피 좋아해요?

The listener already knows who the question is for. If you know a name or title, 민지 씨는요? or 선생님은요? can also bring that person into the sentence.

You do not need perfect honorifics for a safe first meeting. Begin in 해요체, choose 합니다체 for a formal room, and add -시- when the sentence subject deserves raising. Let 반말 wait until the relationship is ready.